This title may or may not seem a little dramatic but this post is something I have been debating writing for a few weeks now. As you may have realised my blogging mojo has disappeared lately, I still blog twice a week but my posts have little meaning or inspiration. They are merely being written because I am too afraid to stop, too afraid to give up on something I have worked at for years to create. What if I stop and never start again? What would the point in all that hard work be? This is hardly a new thought for me, I have been thinking this for the past 18 months because I am very aware that once I become a full time teacher I will have very little time to actually keep this blog alive.
Anyway, on to the point of this blog, I still have at least 18 months before I’m a full time teacher.
What Happens When Your a Blogger but Your Life isn’t Worth Blogging About
Since my life changed a little and my relationship turned into a long distance one I have stopped making the most of each day and have begun to count down and tick off the days until I next get to see my boyfriend. I live my day for getting into bed at night knowing that when I wake up next it will be one less day. I’m not used to living my life like this and it really has made me and my life boring. Or maybe it is boring because with this long distance relationship I lost half of my social life. My boyfriend and I have always made a point of being part of each other’s social circles and for me that had far more benefits than not. My social circle is very small and most of the people in it live in my hometown. To cut a long story short, I have very few people to do things with during my evenings and weekends. Things that would make my life interesting and thus give me more to blog about.
Instead of attempting to make a bigger social life, I decided to work on personal goals, like my fitness and marathon training, getting ahead with uni assignments and of course earning as much money as possible to allow me to travel a little. As great as it is to work on personal goals, this really doesn’t make for great travel blog content. I’ve already mixed things up by blogging my marathon training journey but I already feel like that is pushing the boundaries of a travel blog a little much. Other bloggers and myself included wrote a lot about being more open within our blogging this year, particularly Beverley, saying you don’t have to be one dimensional to be successful. And as much as I do agree with it – hell my stats have been the highest ever these last two months even while my blogging has been all over the place. However, this blog is called The Little Backpacker and many topics I could write about seem so far fetched I’m not even sure I want them on my blog.
Then I wonder to myself, why I’m even stressing about all of this, I have no real desire for this blog to be a huge success. I am certainly not looking to gain a career out of it, so what does it really matter if I blog about random topics on my travel blog? I’m just being obsessive about keeping travel related.
Though that discussion isn’t really the point of this blog either, the point is I find myself wanting to stay in or go to the gym over exploring this wonderful city I live in. Why? It could be because anything in the city costs money, even if it is just transport fees. But it is more likely to be the fact I get lonely doing these things on my own. I hate getting food when I’m out alone and I always walk too fast aiming to get everything done as quickly as possible. I’ve never been a good solo traveller, I saw New York in a day because of how ruthless I was with my checking things off and walking fast. Note, this wasn’t a good thing as I had four days in the city. I need company to slow me down, to make me stop and to force me to get tea and cake half way through the day. You know, do the things that actually make a good blog post.
And really that is what I’m trying to say, what do you write about when you feel your life isn’t worth the words on the paper? What do you do when you’ve lost your motivation and you spend hours upon hours a day reading and writing for university assignments? How do you create decent travel content when your not taking time to explore? I mean it probably would help if I stopped comparing myself to those bloggers who do travel full time and have amazing lives to blog about. But if I didn’t follow these people I would never have started a blog in the first place or travelled half as much as I have. I guess my final thought is this; once upon a time I hated my life and decided to go travelling, I loved it so much I carried on. Now I’m taking a break from all this travelling to get myself a decent job and qualification inevitably to travel more. But what do I do and how do I cope in the mean time? Answers on a postcard would be very helpful please.